a swirling vortex of confusion

last night dream put connor, dustin, beth, and myself back in cabo. we were all on the beach watching the international cartoon x-games, where bart simpson was leading the u.s. team. i don't remember which country it was, but it wasn't us, but they built this crazy machine that was super long, and on one end there was a giant hoop which was really a fan that whirled air around in it super quickly, and then pushed down the rest of the length of this thing. each of the twenty or so team members from this other country stood in line, taking turns going up to the fan loop, and vomiting into it. the cartoon barf was swirled around , mixing with dust and sand, which of course turned it all into water, and created a giant spiral wave tube thing, which all of the x-game contestants then proceeded to surf.

it was nasty and cool all at the same time, but it turns out that this other country cheated in some way. while the judges were debating on what to do, our little quartet decided to go up to the cabin next to our resort, where a giant party was raging. it was a nudist party, which is pretty much exactly like a regular party, just that everyone is completely nude. so we're all , doin our thing in the buff- with the exception of trenton, who made a brief cameo in this dream, at the party, fully clothed and looking super uncomfortable talking to a bunch of dudes he didn't know. we all head downstairs, with the exception of beth, who's run into a friend and stays in the kitchen.downstairs is the entertainment room where a movie's playing. connor's off doing his socializing thing a little bit away, and trent's up in the kitchen, but i'm tired, so i decide to use dustin as a pillow. and as i'm thinking "isn't it great that dustin and i are such great friends that we can just lay here completely naked and there's nothing sexual about it" when all of a sudden, he's kissing me, and then i'm realizing he's kissing me, and i'm pushing his face away, and connor's storming off all pissed, and i'm yelling "what are you doing!?!" and dustin is slowly turning into turk from scrubs.

so after my initial protest dustin/turk starts being all "no, i've been thinking about this, and i really think that we could work really well, and i think we should get married."

my response: "well, shouldn't we give this a try for at least a week or so before getting married?"

turk/dustin does not agree. he thinks we should get married right away. so, we head down to the below basement basement, where an entire wedding party is already set up for me.

by this time turk is fully turk, complete with green scrubs and everything, and scrubs' carla is there being my maid of honor, and i'm in a fairly hideous snow queen 80's wedding dress, walking down the isle toward a catholic priest, surrounded by baby aspen trees covered in twinkle lights. but instead of the traditional vows, turns out i'm basically signing a contract saying i'll honor and obey turk to the end of my days, and i guarantee to bring about as many children as he decide's he wants.

but here's the catch- i'm not actually physically capable of having children, i'm completely barren. when turk finds this out, he goes completely nuts, and he's hitting me, and i'm running away, out of the nudist party cabin, and back out onto the beach where the cartoon x games are being held.

remember those?

well, since the whole cheating debacle, everything at the x-games has just been blown into a giant whirlwind of riots and chaos. and i hate riots and chaos! so i hightail it out of there, into the town, where i run into my good friend dallin. and i'm surprised he's there in cabo, until he explains to me that we're in a gay pride parade. so i join him in the parade, and am having a grand old time, when i realize that in addition to the normal rainbow banners, there also a ton of purple flags with one red stripe and one orange one. i'm wondering about this new flag, when i see a whole slew of reporters going around interviewing people about the 'silent partner' flags. apparently these flags are a secret symbol of support from people in high ranking positions of power who don't quite feel comfortable publicly supporting gay rights, but that doesn't mean they don't support them. i'm wondering how this will stay a secret symbol if it's going to be broadcast all over national television, but then as i look around, i notice that both the new flags and the faces of all the owners of the flag are blurred out, so no one will be able to tell anything about it if they aren't there.

and that's when the puppy woke me up.

sometimes i wonder how far my crazy dreams will go if i'm allowed to just go with it, and sleep and sleep until it's over!

kids vs zombies

ok, so it’s a zombie apocalypse, and i’m only like 15 years old, and all of my sisters are aged accordingly, meaning 12, 7, and 5, and we need to get out of our house and into a safe place. luckily, we already had our zombie apocalypse survival packs, now i just have to make sure we all have warm coats and that everyone’s holding as much food as they can carry. i send zoe to find boxes of ritz and bunny grahams, cause those are the best survival foods, and i try to hunt down warm jackets. however, all that’s to be found are some of my tattered old hoodies and sweaters. i decide that some warmth is better than no warmth and wrap little alexa and little robin into tattered hoodie bundles, and it actually works pretty well, cause i’m so much bigger than them, and because i’m such a great bundle-up-your-sister-so-she-won’t-freeze-to-death-er. when zoe gets back with the food, we divide it all according to carrying capacity, and head out on our sneaking, dangerous trek to the safe place where all kids know to go when the zombie apocalypse hits- the movie theatre in the joseph smith memorial building.

oh, i should probably mention that all of the adults in the entire very isolated city in which we live, have already been annihilated. this is why i am taking care of my sisters. it’s also probably why i am 15, 22 year olds are technically adults. also, the younger the sister, the cuter the bundle.

so we get to the theatre, which is only like 2 blcks away from our neighborhood, and first thing i do is make sure that all of the neighborhood kids are there.

hafens, check. petersons, check. kraczecks, check.

of course, the kraczeks are mostly who i was looking for. i head over to trent, make sure he has all 6 of his siblings, and that they're all safe and sound. he does. so, we leave all of our siblings in the very capable hands of john and landon, and trent and i find kadin, devan, and derek, cause they’re our zombie-raid buddies. we’re a team. not only are we a team, but we are an officially established zombie fighting team, and we're in charge of this safe haven.

once we’re sure we have everyone, we get cots set up for our families, make sure the heads of all the other households and the little kids who came by themselves all have places to sleep, and then settle in to watch the film that’s playing. it’s about duck squirrels that water ski.

yep, that’s basically exactly how you’re picturing it, cute litte squirrels with duck bills on water skis, going down white water rivers. oh, and this is a documentary. an educational documentary. these guys are totally real.

i’m laughing at the funny little squirrel’s duck call, when i hear my mother giggling, and i look over, and she’s on the cot next to me! she and my dad both escaped from the fancy ball that all of the adults had been attending when the zombies attacked, and somehow had escaped before the building was totally overrun by zombies and their brains were eaten. but she didn’t want me to make a scene and alert all of the other kids, and even worse, the zombies, so she winked at me with a sneaky little smile on her face, raised her finger to her lips and continued watching the squirrels.